Chapters

Chapter 1: Zen

Chapter 2: Money… money… Money…

Chapter 3: Trapped

Chapter 4: Liquid

Chapter 5: First Quest

Chapter 6: 30 Day Time Limit Set!

Chapter 7: A Trapping Surprise 

Chapter 8: Flowers Burned Down

Chapter 9: Best Traveling Ever!!!

Chapter 10: At Last

Chapter 11: Cause 7 Effect

Chapter 12: Would you stop…….?

Chapter 13: Strange Village &…

Chapter 14: I knew IT!!!

Chapter 15: Deep Planet

Chapter 16: Rest Area

Chapter 17: Time

Chapter 18: The Deal

Chapter 19: Dungeon Victors

Chapter 20: Ice Chrysalis

Chapter 21: TINY

Chapter 22: The Blue

82 thoughts on “Chapters

  1. Thank for the story Eli. I don’t want to be seem like I hating your story or anything like that, but your plot is just moving too fast, thus making it confusing sometime, sometime I have to reread many time to understand what going on in the story, so yeah, I gonna be honest and say that your story is not the best I read.

    But despise me don’t like the very fast paced plot, I still like your world building, it very detailed unlike many futuristic world that have virtual reality in it. They often just have a general feel of what going on or the mc just a regular person, so I kind of liking your backstory. Thought, there is still something I don’t understand/don’t like about your mc, it the lack of conserving money, despise I understood that he had a way to get the money, he still so very wasteful even thought he use to be at the bottom of the society, so I still very confuse by his personality. Thought, I didn’t read your whole story, I just quit after he just use so much money. So yeah, I apologize if I use something that you already address in your story. Very sorry for me ranting about your story.

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    1. Thank You for the wonderful feedback. I will slow down a bit with the story plot. As per money. There was a survey conducted and there is even a video on youtube that shows this. A person in need of money if usually helped by those that lack money themselves. My MC can see the hardship around him, since he too is in this situation. He grows his own food and thus doesn’t really need money. The fact that the sees his neighbors suffering while he is rich, he doesn’t like the feeling and so its easier to give it away then feel the guilt which surrounded money.

      Like

      1. if only everyone was that way, the world would certainly be a much better place, for everyone and everything. I certainly am, although I am told it’s stupid to be that way… and that it’s wasteful… but I gave a random person on the streets everything but the shirt on my back when I myself at the time just became homeless. after I got back on my feet my dad told me that I should have sold all that stuff at a pawn shop and used the money to get back on my feet…. but I don’t regret it, because I managed to get back on my feet anyway. I have a place to live now, and I even have the luxury of a computer, internet, and food. although I still need a job and soon. but looking back I think I did the right thing, and I think I made that guys day. although considering were I live, he prolly just pawned it all off and spent all the money on weed.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. although now that dad just died im kinda depressed sitting at home doing nothing even though I critically need to get a job. I just can’t get motivated anymore….

        Like

    2. Sorry but I disagree the pace that the story is going is just right
      And about the MC spending habits I believe its a good thing to spend money for your family and those who would you like to help why hold back
      Another thing in that place he really doesn’t need money after all they have live without it so him buying everyone the watch is the wisest thing he have done with his money

      Like

      1. It just my personal taste and opinion, so even if you disagree with it, I don’t……….really care. Although, I do understand that a story doesn’t catering all the taste of the reader, so I do sorry if I offensive to anyone, especially Eli Smooth. And I sorry Eli still couldn’t get motivated enought to start reading your story again. Also, it seem like your story become popular, you should really post the story in other website like royalroad and japtem, which can garner more fan/reader, in fact, I read trinpik before this story, that why I know about this story, so I do reccommend to put this story out to the world. Also, persevere, don’t quit even if the reader don’t like your story, there would alway someone out there like your story!!!!

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      2. Thank You for your input. Honestly I do this as a hobby not for glory or fame. If people don’t know about this place that is fine with me. I am trying this out through this website because it feels more like mine. 😄

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  2. Wow thanks for creating a great story its one of the best that I’ve read
    I also like the MC he is not stingy on money and decide to spend it for his family and to help others than to just hide it after all what’s the point point of having money if you’ll not spend it
    Another thing I like the environment where the MC grows he maybe poor but because of his family in that place he became a decent person
    Thank you for your hard work and pls. continue the story

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  3. I have already read trinpick and my opinion it lack many of the most important aspect of VRMMORPG.

    1. Lack of players according to the story there should be many other players but only the MC and the girl sorry forgot the name of the characters and the guys on the emperor summit are showed
    2. The story only focus on the MC which is a good thing but sometimes you should put feelers in between the chapter from time to time it will lessen the pace of the story and believe me feelers improve your story
    3. Another thing it lack is a rival the MC is too powerful an overpowered MC is good but sometimes being too much overpowered is a bad thing there won’t be any challenge left and with a flick of a finger everything is done.

    The best most enjoyable parts of trinpik

    1. When he stuggled to get out of the island he was in and how he died a couple of times he he he
    2. When they are building the wizard tower

    After that he is already op and none could match him anymore .
    Watching the MC struggle and overcome a stronger enemy succeeding a allmost impossible quest by using his own strength and wits a story like that is fun to read on my opinion

    Like

    1. Thanks I found those faults too and thus wanted to remake something new and not to overpowered. As well as a completely new focus. For one small hint to future coming of Zen in Paztok won’t be like Trinpik were he rules over something. Instead I want to make him a character behind the scenes. sort of speaking.

      Like

  4. System Warning!
    In less than 24 hours the readers´ withdrawal syndromes will act up if they do not receive at least one new chapter to read.

    Information about readers´ withdrawal syndromes:
    – causes readers to lose their reason and to mindlessly chant “new chapter, need new chapter…” again and again just like zombies.
    – However zombies can only spread their numbers upon direct contact, readers under the effect of withdrawal do not need physical conact due to the existence of the “internet” connecting them worldwide.
    – Furthermore zombies are only threats while being physically present so they can be erased by fatal blows to their heads. Readers however are not physcally present so they are even immune to fatal attacks!

    Theredore beware that readers with withdrawal syndromes are a far bigger than zombies could ever be.

    😀 😀 😀

    Like

    1. No!!!!! The withdrawal syndrome ………. (Droll)………………….new chapter,need new chapter………… (Droll)………..new chapter, new chapter……..(drool)

      Like

  5. His exams was Wednesday and Thursday so give him a break it’s hard to finish a chapter in 2-3 days …..(drool)
    Still suffering need 12….(drool)

    Like

  6. well this is …….
    asdfasdadasfasdas…………….12
    asdasjdfauoidjo…………….12

    MONDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Like

  7. dsfgsjeqnsad………………..12
    dfgjkdfjkiorwemf……………12
    sjkflsdmcvew………………..12

    12(droll)….12(droll)…….12(droll)……..12(droll)……12(droll)

    Like

  8. Guys slow down a bit. I am trying to finish a few chapters but with midterms and exams before spring break its been tough. Sorry that you have to wait so long. I am also getting married this summer so its been a little hectic.

    Like

  9. …….. post i picture of your wedding and we!! will forgive you ….. hek hek hek just don’t kill this novel please….. and happy wife/husband life….

    Like

      1. ohh yeah are you gonna post a bunch of chapters? or not cuz i saw this post

        (Guys slow down a bit. I am trying to finish a !([few chapters])! but with midterms and exams before spring break its been tough. Sorry that you have to wait so long. I am also getting married this summer so its been a little hectic.)

        Like

  10. wow thanks for the great story, I though the story isn’t interesting since I found it in royalroad and no one give the riview yet, but after I read it till chapter 6 I got addicted. Sorry for my bad english & please keep going on the story

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  11. I really like your story and everything surrounding it and I am impatiently waiting for more ;), contradictory I hope you take your time maintaining your good story but on the other hand hope you update this as fast as you can.

    with kind regards,
    your fan 😛

    Like

    1. Ok guys. My wedding has passed and I just got back from the honeymoon. So I will start to post in a week or two. Sorry for the delay had many wedding preparations and honeymoon of course. So I will be getting back to the story.

      Like

    1. Hopefully within 2 years. 😄 Sorry the chapters are not updated I have some typed up but then decided to go another route so I will be retyping some of it. I tell you original good stories are hard to type.

      Like

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